we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
