we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
