508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
