She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
