No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
