I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
