remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
