Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
