Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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