Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
