That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
