It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
