Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
