Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
