Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
