she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
