new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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