oh god the rape fog is back!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
