yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
