I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This house was built for laser tag.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You've changed since you got that strap on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
