Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
