Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
