i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
