The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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