hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
