My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
