I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
