Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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