no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
