She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
