After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
