Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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