Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
