If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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