..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
