At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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