just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
