it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
