She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
