Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize