Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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