now i know why i became what i already was.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
