You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
