btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
