I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
