My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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