omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
