so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
