the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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