I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
