his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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