I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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